I was sitting in a coffee shop around the corner from our house last week when my dad called. My aunt Mary Catherine had passed away. Expectedly, but still unexpectedly. After we hung up, I sat there at my computer scrolling aimlessly through pictures of Christmas decorations for a freelance post I was working on, thinking about another sadness for my family and another legacy to be passed on.

After a short battle with a very aggressive and terminal brain cancer, the end part, which can be so painful and bad, was mercifully short. But it’s still a shock to us all. She was my godmother, and one of my biggest cheerleaders, especially here on FCV. She loved my posts and commented often. She prayed so fervently that we would be able to start our family, and was overjoyed to meet Maya earlier this summer. Maya, of course, loved her instantly, giving kisses and then laughing hysterically each time.

Michael pointed out that Mary Catherine was a link to my grandparents on my dad’s side, who both died of cancer (can I get an f-you cancer?!) before I was old enough to really know them. She would tell stories of my grandparents so vividly that I could just picture my grandmom through her. I think she carried my grandmom’s elegance and grace and old fashioned-ness, which was such a gift to experience.

It’s been a sad time in our family, with both of my parents losing a close family member in just six weeks. And it’s my first real time facing loss and experiencing missing people who were part of my life on a regular basis. It’s such a strange feeling to be carrying on with day to day things with added pangs of sadness every day or so. I suppose everyone goes through it eventually, and I’m grateful it took me until now to hit with real force.

I hope you’re all well and healthy. I’ve missed you and hope to be back more regularly soon. xx em

This summer, Maya, Michael and I got to spend a lovely chunk of time in China Village with my family. Michael has already started school back in (still sweaty) Houston, but Maya and I are extending our visit by another ten days so that we can attend my Grandma’s memorial service this weekend. While my parents are at work during the day, Maya and I have been left to our own devices. Sometimes we drive an hour and visit my sister and her little family, but sometimes we just bop around China Village.

My dad is always suggesting that I should do a China Village tour for my blog, since it inspired the name. And now we’ve had time to make that happen! So today, a small photographic tour of even smaller (but still sweet!) China Village.

It’s about a five minute walk down the hill to China Lake, where there’s a little ice cream/fried foods stand with picnic tables near the boat launch. Maya had her first licks of ice cream here last weekend and it was glorious. I’m tempted to give her ice cream every day just for her reaction of pure delight. But I’ll refrain, if only because I ended up eating most of the ice cream and I have very little restraint when it comes to chocolate.

A little ice cream interlude before we continue on our tour…

Total and utter happiness. I feel ya, girl! And we started with chocolate and with sprinkles because that’s how ice cream should be done!

Right, so, back to business.

At the edge of the lake is the little Baptist church with a bell that tolls every hour and half hour. I rarely notice it, but Maya notices it every time and starts boogying.  Right next door to the church is the fire station, where I learned to ride my bike because it was the only paved parking lot in the village. We’ve also got major respect for the fire department – it’s made up completely of such brave and dedicated volunteers. We had a fairly large fire in our house in the early 90’s and they were all brilliant despite the scary night. It was started by a plumber who came to thaw a frozen pipe (such is January in Maine in a really old house!) and smouldered up the inside of the wall in the kitchen for hours before my mom heard a crackle.

My dad worked nights at the newspaper back then and heard about it on the police scanner they used to pick up stories! He had a big old (slightly mortifying) bright orange former utility truck at the time and he always says he must have hit 100 miles an hour on the straight aways racing home to us that night! As soon as my mom called the fire department, she sent the three of us across the street to the neighbors (Charlie was maybe 2, so I was 9?) with our new puppy, where we waited while they got the fire under control. Turns out the walls had been stuffed with old newspaper for insulation and they had to take half of the second floor off and rebuild. It was dramatic! But I also remember all the teachers at our primary school sent us meals and someone brought over homemade donuts. Small towns are the sweetest.  You might recognize this one. Built in 1811 and lovingly (and sometimes grudgingly) restored and continuously repainted by my parents, it’s why China Village is such a cosy home to me. They bought it when I was just ten months old and my mom reports that I was so chubby and uninterested in moving that she could set me on the counter and I wouldn’t move an inch. Maya would fling herself off the counter and be halfway up the stairs if you turned your back for a second!  We grew up within shouting distance of the village library and took full advantage of the somewhat lax neighbor return policy. Luckily, the librarian Mary still likes us all! I used to go to story hour there, and then in middle school I ran the story hour. I wish I’d been on the ball, I would have resurrected it this summer since we’ve been here so long!

Next door to the library is Peggy’s house, she taught us piano lessons for years and there was a recital every spring. One year I got a bee sting on the behind right before the recital and still managed to play my little song! She still lives there and always makes homemade bread for us at Christmas time.  A few other stately clapboard homes in the village. We actually lived in the one above for a few months while our house was being rebuilt after the aforementioned fire. The owner back then was another teacher at my mom’s school and they were selling the house, so they let us live there while it was on the market. I do remember having to go to the library a lot so we weren’t in the house while they were showing it! I also remember the aforementioned puppy pooping on the Oriental rugs!  And the sweet little post office! Priscilla has been the post lady there since I was too small to even see over the counter, although I think she’s retiring soon. I used to come visiting with tiny, sweaty handfuls of earthworms plucked from the garden. It’s no wonder I’m still remembered there! 😉 There was also a phase when that handicap ramp came in really handy for our rollerblading laps. We used to love when they repaved the parking lot!

Thanks for touring my China Village and sticking around for my memory lane moments!

Last night, quite suddenly in the end and after several years courageously battling various cancers, my Grandma passed away. She was the Catharine of our Maya Catharine, and just so, so special to me – just as she was to my siblings and cousins, to my mom and her brothers and sister and of course to my Grandpa. They were married 64 years, a whole lifetime of love.

She was strong and feisty and incredibly talented. She painted and knitted and sewed – she sewed so well she made my wedding dress! She was absolutely selfless; she and my grandpa took the utmost care of my uncle after an severe accident thirty years ago which left him quite handicapped. My sister was just telling me that Grandma called her a few weeks ago, shortly after she received the news of her latest and saddest diagnosis, just to ask how Carolyn was doing with her new baby girl. She was the wrangling matriarch of our family, effortlessly hosting Christmas dinner and coordinating family photos for an ever-growing family every year since I was born. She was the queen of small touches – flowers from the garden in the bathroom all summer and ribbons tied around the napkins and silverware at Christmas.

And she made the best grilled cheese in the whole state of Maine, I’d be willing to bed.

I’ve been lucky enough to be staying with my sister while we’ve waited for news of the last days of my grandma’s life, so we’ve gotten to chat about how wonderful she was to us for a few days now. We’ve been talking about how incredible it is that we just loved calling her up for a chat, not many thirty-plus year-olds can say they get to do that – and truly enjoy it. She had a wonderful sense of humor and we always spent the half hour laughing and chatting. She was the token Republican in a whole family of Democrats, although we suspected that was mostly to be contrary. When I worked for Democratic congressional campaign, she changed her party affiliation just so she could vote in the primary, just because she was proud of her granddaughter running his campaign.

At eighty-eight she still kept a busy schedule – knitting clubs (to make hats and mittens for the homeless), book clubs, water aerobics and visits from kids and grandkids and friends. She completely inspired my theory that the key to a long life is to just keep moving. She was dignified and practical and always said exactly what was on her mind – which was rarely negative, but often hilarious. One time she asked my boyfriend at the time (previous to Michael 😉 what he thought of her implants. Ha! She meant her eye implants, but we’ve laughed over that interaction and his spooked expression for years.  When Michael and I didn’t know whether or when we would be able to have kids, all I wanted was to have a baby girl and name her Maya Catharine, after my grandma. And to have my grandma still alive to meet her. Maya Catharine was many, many gifts, including that big one. When we met Maya we knew the name would be perfect for her. My grandma was tiny but mighty, just like our Maya Catharine will be!

Quite selfishly, I was also really set on having the first grandchild on my side, primarily because I felt that being the oldest grandchild was so great. I always felt like the favourite grandchild, which, of course, was my Grandma’s magic as well. She made each of her grandchildren feel like her favourite.

I remember the morning after we got Maya, calling my grandparents to tell them they were now great grandparents. My grandma, at 88, was out at water aerobics at the time, and when she returned my grandpa got to tell her that while she was out, they had become GGs!

I took these photos the day we finally got to introduce my Grandma Catharine to our Maya Catharine and both my grandparents were just so thrilled to meet her. (Maya was only eleven weeks old! She had so much hair but it hadn’t even started to curl yet!) I had waited for and envisioned that moment for so long and it was everything I had hoped for. They were thrilled to hold her in their arms and my Grandma kept saying how cunnin’ she was in her great Massachusetts accent. She couldn’t get over Maya’s dungaree top. She absolutely never called them jeans. The story of the past weeks and years wouldn’t be complete without recognizing the absolute love my grandparents shared for nearly 65 years, such an unfathomable and enviable amount of time they were able to share their lives. While I’m heartbroken that my Grandma has left us, the silver lining is that I have been wholly blessed watching my Grandpa’s love for her over the years, as well as watching him care for her so sweetly in her last weeks. He never left her side as he nursed her and held her hand, and he never stopped reminding us how strong and special she was, although we really couldn’t have forgotten. He’d shake his head and say, “She’s some lady, your grandmother,” his voice bursting with admiration and just a glimmer of a tear in his eyes at how lucky he was to have her.  I love this photo above. I think Maya Catharine looked right at Grandma Catharine and knew exactly what tiny but mighty looked like. I think they had a Catharine moment as Maya looked up at her. We’ll teach Maya everything else she needs to know about her namesake in the years to come. Her legacy of kindness and selflessness and spunk will absolutely be carried on in our girl. 

We loved her fiercely and will miss her fiercely. Xx